Monday, April 24, 2006

Big in Japan (revision 1)

[Here's the revised version I did in class. It worked pretty well, but I cut it down pretty far, so it needs to be longer.]

OK, so here's the first version of my bit on "I'm big in Japan." Thanks to everyone who suggested jokes, even the ones I didn't use. This is meant for standup, so it should be funnier performed than just read. I'll see how it goes over in class tomorrow night, and what revisions I need to make.

I'm big in Japan too.
No, really – I used to live in Japan. I lived there for about 10 years.
One of the best things about living in a foreign country is that it's a lot easier to be funny there.
Just imagine living in Japan – 120 million people, and none of them have ever heard a knock-knock joke.
You have to teach them how a knock-knock joke works, but once you do, you're good to go.
And it doesn't even have to be a good knock-knock joke, because they're foreigners. They've never heard any of them.
Like, I'd say, "Knock-knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Sue who?"
"Sushi tastes good."
I said it didn't have to be a good one.
Because if you tell that in a foreign country, they'll be like, "Sushi tastes good? BWA-HA-HA-HA! You are so funny!"

See, 'cause if you live in a foreign country, you can tell any joke in the entire history of America, stuff that goes back to vaudeville, and everyone will think you're the funniest person ever, 'cause they've never heard them before.
Like, I used to tell people, "Wow, my arm really hurts."
So they'd say, "What's wrong?"
And I'd say, "I don't know. I can only raise it this high (raise arm shoulder high). Normally I can raise it this high (over head), but now I can only raise it this high (shoulder again).
And then they'd be like, "But you just raised it over your head. And then – ha-ha-ha! – you said you can't! Oh, ha-ha-ha! Oh my gosh, you're funny!"

Or this one time I was at a company party, so I was brown-nosing my Japanese boss – I mean, I was conversing with my manager, and I said to him, "What's black and white and read all over?"
"Black and white and red…"
"All over."
"Hmm. A zebra? A penguin? No, they're just black and white…. I don't know."
"A newspaper."
"A newspaper? But that's just black and white…."
"No, it's read all over too – because people read it."
"BWA-HA-HA-HA! That is so original! You certainly have a unique sense of humor. That's the kind of creativity we need at this company! You deserve a raise!"
"Well, thank you. Lot's of people tell me that. Hey, pull my finger."

1 comment:

  1. I too found it very interesting living in a foreign country. I had the pleasure of 4 years in the Republic of Singapore


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