Thursday, June 29, 2006

My Dad was kind of cheap

But my own family was kind of dysfunctional. My dad wasn't exactly abusive, but he was kind of cheap. He just hated to spend money on his kids.

Like when my best friend Ronnie got a guitar, I told my Dad I wanted a guitar too. He got me a broomstick, a rubber band, and two clothespins.

The dentist told Dad I needed braces. My dad said, "How much are they?" and the dentist said "$2,000." Dad said, "I'll take care of it myself." So he clamped a vise to the headboard of my bed and made me sleep with my face in it every night for the next six years.

Some of my friends started going to camp every summer, so I said, "Dad, I wanna go to summer camp too." He said, "Summer camp? Sure, I'll take you to summer camp!" He drove me to the woods, shoved me out of the car, and said, "See you in a month!"

Then my cousin John got swimming lessons, so I said, "Can I have swimming lessons too, Dad?" (Yeah, I was a slow learner.) Dad said, "I'll give you a swimming lesson!" He took me down to the pond and threw me right in. I thought I'd never get out of that sack. I really wouldn't have minded, only everyone else was ice skating at the time.

1 comment:

  1. My dad is kinda cheap too. I like to call it "joyless frugality." When I wrote letters to my grandparents, I had to address the letters to myself and put my grandparent's address in the place for the return address.

    Back then, that sav
    ed like $0.19.

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