Monday, September 18, 2006

SHUT THE F@#% UP, YOU MOTHERF@#%ERS!

So last Saturday I was in another free show at the pub. It didn't go all that great, mainly for two reasons. First, it was game-day night here in University Town, so the place was full -- full of drunks who were interested in celebrating the game by getting drunker, and weren't interested in comedy. So they just talked among themselves. Loudly. Second, it turns out that one of my fellow comics is a complete psycho. And a drunk. Her "act" consisted mainly of cursing and screaming at the audience to shut up. Now, there's a lot of comedy potential in screaming and cursing -- Sam Kinison, RIP, could even solve world hunger while doing it -- but Standup Comedy Rule Number 1 is "Don't scream and curse at your audience." Because, you know, um, they're the ones you want to laugh, instead of hating you? Doesn't seem all that subtle, does it? And Rule Number 2 is "Don't get so drunk that in between screaming and cursing at the audience, you forget which jokes you told (badly) and tell them again (badly)." Standup is pretty simple, after all.

Anyway, finally the bartender came over and told her to stop cursing at the customers. When she got off the stage, management escorted her out of the building (after which she called them up about 26 times and cursed at whoever answered the phone). As Kevin -- Kevin is my comedy hero; I want to be him when I grow up -- as Kevin said, we've all heard of people getting thrown out of comedy shows, but that was the first time anyone'd seen a comic get thrown out.

1 comment:

  1. "Standup is pretty simple, after all."

    Thanks, thanks a lot. I mean, I guess it's not brain surgery. You can just start on anyone, but still...

    ReplyDelete

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