Wednesday, September 06, 2006

"Woof-woof!" "AUSTIN! AUSTIN!"

My neighbor has a dog. That's OK, because I like dogs. My neighbor's dog often barks. That's OK too, because that's what dogs do. But every time the dog barks, my neighbor yells at it. "Woof-woof!" barks the dog. "AUSTIN! AUSTIN!" shouts my neighbor. Every time. And she always yells "AUSTIN!" twice. I mean, at least sometimes the dog barks "Woof-woof-woof!" or "Woof!" or "Woof-woof! Woof-woof!" But my neighbor? It's never just "AUSTIN!" It's never "AUSTIN! AUSTIN! AUSTIN!" It's never even "AUSTIN-AUSTIN!" It's always "AUSTIN! AUSTIN!" with the same slight but distinct pause between the "AUSTINS!" And it's about 50 million times more annoying than the barking dog. Would you please just shut up and let the damn dog bark? And what the hell kind of name is "Austin" for a dog anyway?


  1. Perhaps you are spelling the name wrong. I think it's Austen. As in Jane. And that's a fine name for a dog.

    Also, if you scramble up all the letters, it could spell out:

    Is A Nut.

    That could also explain it.

  2. I think "Melville" would be a good name for a dog. If he's a big white dog. And a well-read one.

  3. A former orchestra director of mine named his dog "Damn it," so he could call, "Come here, _______"


  4. Love that. I always wanted a dog named "Sell!" So that when I called it in the park, people would think I was a stockbroker.

    "Sell, Dammit! Sell!"

  5. Is your neighbor's noisy dog getting you down? Too much barking? Post it here at the Barking Dog ATLAS.


What do you think?