Wednesday, September 06, 2006
My neighbor has a dog. That's OK, because I like dogs. My neighbor's dog often barks. That's OK too, because that's what dogs do. But every time the dog barks, my neighbor yells at it. "Woof-woof!" barks the dog. "AUSTIN! AUSTIN!" shouts my neighbor. Every time. And she always yells "AUSTIN!" twice. I mean, at least sometimes the dog barks "Woof-woof-woof!" or "Woof!" or "Woof-woof! Woof-woof!" But my neighbor? It's never just "AUSTIN!" It's never "AUSTIN! AUSTIN! AUSTIN!" It's never even "AUSTIN-AUSTIN!" It's always "AUSTIN! AUSTIN!" with the same slight but distinct pause between the "AUSTINS!" And it's about 50 million times more annoying than the barking dog. Would you please just shut up and let the damn dog bark? And what the hell kind of name is "Austin" for a dog anyway?