Saturday, October 28, 2006

North Korean News Item of the Week [Now with Commentary!]

From Korea News Service:

Important Days of DPRK Observed
Pyongyang, October 25 (KCNA) -- Meetings were held by the Polish Communist Party [too easy], the Genuine Lumumbist Patriotic Party [Down with the unpatriotic fake Lumumbist running-dog lackeys!] of Democratic Congo and the Communist Party of Malta, lectures were sponsored by the Congolese Socialist Party and the Socialist Party of Peru and round-table talks were organized by the Misr Arab Socialist Party [I don't know what "Misr" means in Arabic, but in English it's a good way to address cross-dressers if you're not sure whether they prefer "Ms." or Mr."] of Egypt from October 6 to 11 on the occasion of the 61st anniversary of the Workers' Party of Korea and the 80th anniversary of the formation of the Down-with-Imperialism Union (DIU).

On display in the venues of the functions were photos showing the exploits performed by the peerlessly great persons [I feel sorry for the ordinarily great persons -- nobody ever wants to look at photos of their exploits. "Please, won't somebody look at these photos of my exploits?" "Your exploits?! Bah! You have peers."] in the party building and their Songun leadership. [They call it "Songun" leadership because everyone says "Son (of a) gun! What leadership!]

Speeches were made there. [They were short.]

Martin Adam [Funny, he doesn't sound Polish.], chairman of the National Executive Committee of the Polish Communist Party [OK, just one. How many Polish Communists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A thousand and one: 1 to screw in the lightbulb, and 1,000 to build a time machine so they can go on living in the past.], said President Kim Il Sung formed the DIU and provided the historic roots for the party building, adding that this marked a historic event as it meant the beginning of the building of a revolutionary party of the working class.

He highly praised Kim Jong Il for developing the Songun idea [Son of a gun! What an idea!] which originated from the DIU as the most scientific and revolutionary guiding idea as required by the developing reality and leading the cause of independence against imperialism to victory while meeting all the challenges of the imperialists with his tireless Songun leadership. [Son of a gun! His fellow delegates praised Mr. Adam for managing to use the word "Songun" twice in one sentence, but took off points because it was a run-on sentence.]

At the end of the functions the participants watched "The Country Taking on More Beautiful Looks under the Leadership of the Great General," "Military Parade and Mammoth Demonstration for Celebrating the 55th Anniversary of the Glorious Workers' Party of Korea" and other Korean films. [Following which, the participants woke up and returned to their hotels.]

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