Monday, January 22, 2007

Final exam in International Relations

I once taught International relations. Here's the final exam I used.

1. The Peleponnesian War was fought mainly between:
A) The Athenians and the Spartans
B) The Peleponies and the Teletubbies
C) Bill Clinton and Ken Starr
D) Bill Clinton and Hillary Rodham Clinton

2. "Solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short" is a description of:
A) The life of Man in a state of nature
B) A typical liberal
C) A typical conservative (on a good day)
D) Your graduate teaching assistant's probable future career in academia
E) All of the above

3. "MAD" is an acronym for:
A) Mutually Assured Destruction
B) Many Annoying Debates
C) Mutually Acquainted Dadaists
D) My Ass Dazzles
E) I couldn't think of a good acronym, so I just MADe one up

4. "Quantitative" political scientists are all:
A) Damned
B) Liars
C) Damned liars
D) Statisticians

5. A hegemon is:
A) A state with predominant influence over others
B) A state with no influence over others
C) A state easily influenced by others
D) A Jamaican hedge fund manager

6. Multipolar systems may be more unstable because:
A) They increase uncertainty
B) Their leaders suffer from multipolar disorder
C) The polar ice caps may melt because of the greenhouse effect
D) Polar bears sometimes attack human beings

7. Neoconservatism is to conservatism as:
A) Neoliberalism is to liberalism
B) Neoprene is to prene
C) Neon is to n
D) Neosurrealism is to a grasshopper drinking elderberry wine on a beach in Saipan while wearing a sombrero filled with computer chips

8. Balancing and bandwagoning are:
A) Things that states do in an anarchic system
B) Things that groupies do in an anarchic system
C) Two kinds of circus acts
D) Difficult to perform while under the influence of an intoxicant

9. "Fungible" means:
A) Exchangeable for something else
B) Able to have fun
C) Able to have fungi
D) A dirigible with a fungus growing on it

Answers: 1. A; 2. E; 3. A; 4. D; 5. A; 6. A; 7. A or D; 8. A; 9. A


  1. Are you going to offer any extra credit? I think I just flunked.

  2. You've got to be kidding!!!

  3. Mist,
    If I were your teacher, I'd invite you up to my office to discuss your grade privately. I'm sure we could work something out.

    I would never kid about International Relations.


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