Saturday, November 29, 2008

I'm reading "Twilight," so you don't have to (ch. 12)

Our Story So Far

Here's my synopsis of Chapter 12 of Twilight, by Stephenie [sic] Meyer.

Chapter 12. Balancing

Billy The Old Indian Dude and his son Jacob The Indian visit Bella and her father. Her father invites them in to watch a game on TV. Bella and Jacob The Indian talk in the kitchen while she makes grilled cheese sandwiches. Bella admits she's been going with Edward Cullen. Jacob The Indian says his father is a superstitious old man. Bella is worried that Billy The Old Indian Dude will tell her father that she's hanging around with a Beautiful Vampire. Jacob The Indian doesn't think so.

Bella has lots of homework, but she stays in the living room and pretends to watch the game and listen to Jacob The Indian talk to her, but all she cares about is whether Billy The Old Indian Dude will tell her father about Edward. He doesn't.

After the Indians leave, Bella's father talks to her. She's afraid Billy The Old Indian Dude said something when she wasn't looking, but he didn't; Bella's father just wants to have a conversation with her. He says he's going fishing on Saturday.

The next morning, Edward picks her up in The Silver Volvo again. Bella gets in the car and -- OK, I have to quote this next part verbatim, because otherwise no one will believe it's actually in the a book -- "He grinned his crooked smile at me, stopping my breath and my heart. I couldn't imagine how an angel could be anymore glorious. There was nothing about him that could be improved upon." Edward asks Bella if she slept well.

Edward asks her more questions in the car and at lunch. He's surprised that she never had a boyfriend before, and says more stuff about how awesome she is. He says he's skipping school after lunch to go hunting so he won't be as hungry when they go on their date tomorrow.

Bella realizes that most of the other Beautiful Vampire kids don't much like her. Rosalie The Mean One glares at her. Edward hisses at her to make her stop. He says the other Beautiful Vampires are worried that they'll all get in trouble if Edward kills Bella. Alice The Nice One comes over and meets Bella. Edward and Alice The Nice One leave to go hunting.

Bella wants to ditch also -- apparently there's no point in being at school if your boyfriend isn't there too -- but decides not to because it would be conspicuous and make Edward more likely to get in trouble if he kills her tomorrow. (Seriously. I'm not making that up.)

Bella thinks their date tomorrow will be pivotal, because that's when Edward will decide if they are going to stay together. It's up to him, because nothing is more terrifying and excruciating to Bella than the thought of turning away from him.

Bella has no idea what happened in biology class, because all she could think of was Edward and their date tomorrow. In gym, The Least Annoying Of The Many Annoying Boys Who Like Bella asks her if she's going to the big dance tomorrow and she lies and says she's doing homework and laundry. She hurts his feelings by blowing him off when he asks her, in that case, to come to the dance with their friends.

When Bella gets to the parking lot after school, Edward has delivered her truck. He's left a note that says, "Be safe" (because he won't be around to stalk her for her own good for a few hours).

After she gets home, Bella calls one of the yokels her friends and (just in case she gets killed on her date) tells her that her trip to Seattle with Edward is canceled. Then she tells her father that she won't be going to Seattle after all (she's never mentioned who she was going to go with), but will be hanging around doing laundry and homework and running errands. She's getting good at lying, because that's what true love does to you.

After dinner, Bella's mind has too much free time and she starts to freak out. She fluctuates between anticipation so intense that it is very nearly pain, and an insidious fear that plucks at her resolve. Edward's note means he wants her to be safe, so she hopes he wants that more than he wants to drink her blood. It would be intolerable to cut him out of her life -- her life is "about" him. But she still kinda wonders if getting killed by a Beautiful Vampire hurts a lot.

Bella can't sleep, so she drugs herself with some cough medicine. It works, but when she wakes up in the morning (with no trace of a hangover or anything) she slips back into the same hectic frenzy from the night before. She gets dressed and eats breakfast and keeps looking out the window to see if Edward's there yet.

Edward shows up in clothes that match Bella's. They leave in Bella's truck. She drives, but he tells her where to go. They're going to go to the woods and hike five miles. Bella's sure she can't walk that far in the woods without injuring herself.

Edward gets mad at Bella when he finds out she didn't tell anyone who she'd be with. She says it's because she didn't want him to get in trouble if he kills her. Edward gets even madder but apparently doesn't conclude that she's insane, because they continue the date.

They get to the woods. Bella's afraid to get out of the car because Edward's mad at her, but then she gets out of the car. They take off their sweaters, and Edward's all white and muscley and godlike, which gives Bella a piercing stab of despair because he's too good for her. Edward is bewildered by her tortured expression and can't figure out why she's such a buzz kill all of a sudden.

They walk through the woods. Bella tries not to look at him, because every time she does, his beauty pierces her through with sadness. They don't talk much, except that Edward still keeps asking her questions. They walk all morning. The forest spreads out in a boundless labyrinth of ancient trees, but Edward knows where he's going.

Bella starts to get excited because she's finally going to see Edward in the sun. They come to a beautiful meadow filled with wildflowers, which confuses me because there was an ice storm like a couple of weeks ago. The meadow is so pretty that Bella forgets for a few seconds that they came there to look at Edward in the sun. She turns back to look at him, and he steps into the sunlight, but we have to wait until the next chapter to find out what he looks like. I don't know about you, but my breath is bated.

Halfway done! w00t! This is taking way longer than I expected, but then, the book is way worse than I expected.

(Check the pull-down menu under "Ongoing Series" in the left side-blog for more Twilight chapters.)

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