Thursday, December 25, 2008

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas! or Io, Saturnalia! etc.

I'm at my mom's house for Christmas, forgot my camera-battery charger, and find I have much less time for writing than I expected, so there probably won't be a lot of posts here for a few days. But thanks for reading. I appreciate everyone who stops by, especially my regular readers, who I always think of as friends rather than "readers." Hope you are all having happy holidays.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Good Reads/Random Cool Sites (12/17/2008)

I've always been sceptical of the ability of psychologists to diagnose people they've never met, but you would think that even someone who practices mainly in the media would be able to tell the difference between OCD (obviously) and paranoia (obviously not) without FAIL. You know, like the article's commentators can. Or anyone with access to Wikipedia. FFS.

Speaking of shoe-throwing, to some people it's all just a game.

Obama is Time magazine's "Person of the Year" for 2008. It's the obvious choice, and thus not all that interesting. (As the 2006 winner, I'm qualified to say that.) The most interesting part of the coverage is the uncovering of a series of photos that an aspiring photographer took of him back in 1980 when they were both in college.

Death to the Tinman.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Good Reads/Random Cool Sites (12/9/2008)

I bet this salsa is really spicy.

One paragraph from Bill Simmons:
Speaking of short yardage, you know Philly is struggling when reader Dan from Fairfax, Va., sends me a long e-mail explaining why Andy Reid should sign a "little person," then have McNabb line up in shotgun formation while holding the "little person," take a shotgun snap, hand the ball to the "little person," then fling him over the offensive and defensive lines into the end zone. And Dan was serious. Ladies and gentlemen, your 2008 Philadelphia Eagles!
I dunno, it sounds like it could work. I'd like to see it, anyway.

Please, Santa, bring me one of these.

Freaky x-rays (nails in head, etc.)

Howlin' Wolf does "Smokestack Lightning"

Saturday, December 06, 2008

I'm reading "Twilight," so you don't have to (ch. 13)

Our Story So Far

Here's my synopsis of Chapter 13 of Twilight, by Stephenie [sic] Meyer.

Chapter 13. Confessions

Edward sparkles, scintillates, glistens, glitters, and shimmers in the sun, and his chest is incandescent. (And that's just in the first five paragraphs. I can't wait to see what other words Stephenie Meyer found in her thesaurus under "shine.") The meadow pales next to his magnificence. (Seriously. ISYN. It says that. "The meadow, so spectacular to me at first, paled next to his magnificence.")

Bella spends a lot of time just staring at Edward and touching his hand. Then they talk. The end. (Just kidding. Unfortunately.) They talk, and Edward breathes in Bella's face with his Beautiful Sparkly Vampire breath, which smells sweet (and not like the animal blood which is the only thing he eats or drinks). This makes her mouth water. (Which sounds like it would be a bit of a problem -- as in ewww -- when they finally get around to kissing. I mean, a little saliva is fine, it's part of the package, but a partner whose mouth waters every time you breathe on her would be a bit, um, what's the word I'm looking for -- disgusting.)

Edward freaks out, apparently because Bella's slobbering makes him want to kill her (but in a good way). He runs in circles around the meadow for a while, showing off his Beautiful Sparkly Vampire super powers and telling Bella how easy it would be to kill her. This scares Bella, but also makes him more beautiful than ever. And it's OK, because afterwards he says he's sorry and he promises he'll never hurt her.

(OK, maybe somebody can explain to me how this relationship is romantic rather than sick. What kind of psycho goes around telling his girlfriend how easy it would be to kill her? And what kind of co-dependent puts up with crap like that? Why doesn't Bella tell Edward to take his Beautiful Sparkly Vampire super powers and go frak himself? I can't believe that some people actually encourage their daughters to read this book. It teaches exactly the opposite of what I want mine to learn about relationships.)

Edward explains all about how irresistible he found Bella's smell when they first met. He was mean to her because he was trying not to kill her and expose himself and his family as Beautiful Sparkly Vampires. He says several more times about how he wants to kill Bella and how easy it would be. His golden eyes scorch from under his lashes, hypnotic and deadly. Bella feels sorry for him because he wants to kill her so bad.

Edward says he'd be really sad if he killed Bella. Bella says she'd rather die than stay away from Edward. They say some cutesy stuff about lions and lambs. They practice touching each other without Edward killing Bella.

Edward puts Bella on his back and carries her through the woods back to her truck by running with his Beautiful Sparkly Vampire super speed. Bella gets motion sickness and almost faints, but unfortunately she doesn't vomit on Edward. That would have been funny.

Edward kisses Bella, and she starts to get her freak on ("Blood boiled under my skin, burned in my lips." Seriously.), but Edward makes her stop so he won't kill her. They argue about who's going to drive the truck. Edward wins, of course.

Man, I hate this book.

(Check the pull-down menu under "Ongoing Series" in the left side-blog for more Twilight chapters.)

Friday, December 05, 2008

YouTube Favorites (December 2008)

A baby preacher makes about as much sense as most other preachers, a toddler leads cheers at the Philadelphia Phillies victory parade, "using the Neti Pot can be as routine as brushing your teeth," now you can take a treadmill outside and go places with it, a man on the British program Nationwide claims he can jump on eggs without breaking them, Sasha "The Machine" Vujacic breaks down, and Spicoli lives!

This baby preacher makes about as much sense as most other preachers.

Will leads cheers at the Phillies victory parade. (Compare and contrast with the Baby Preacher.)

"Using the Neti Pot can be as routine as brushing your teeth."

Haven't you always wanted to take a treadmill outside and go places with it? Now you can! Or, um, you could just get off and walk or something, I guess.

A man on the British program Nationwide claims he can jump on eggs without breaking them. (The host's reaction is classic.)

Sasha "The Machine" Vujacic breaks down.

Spicoli lives!

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

My spouse's bad habit

Actual conversation tonight with my spouse, H:

H: Did you know your jacket -- [I can't hear the rest because the kids are too noisy].

Me: What?

H: Your jacket.

Me: Arrgh!

We have similar conversations quite often.

H: [Shouted from the kitchen] Tonight's dinner is -- [I can't hear the rest because she's shouting it from the kitchen].

Me: What?

H: Tonight's dinner.

Me: Arrgh!

You see, if H says something and I don't hear it, she doesn't repeat the whole sentence, she just repeats the subject.

H: Your mother -- [something-something-something].

Me: What?

H: Your mother.

Me: Arrgh!

Only the subject.

H: The kids have to -- [something-something-something-something].

Me: What?

H: The kids.

Me: Arrgh!

Nothing else.

H: The car has been -- [something-something].

Me: What?

H: The car.

Me: Arrgh!

We've known each other for 24 years now.

H: Obama -- [something-something-something].

Me: What?

H: Obama.

Me: Arrgh!

She's been doing it as long as I've known her.

H: Your computer is -- [something-something].

Me: What?

H: Your computer.

Me: Arrgh!

I love her with all my heart, but it's driving me crazy.

Monday, December 01, 2008

Good Reads/Random Cool Sites (12/2/2008)

"There was a little girl
Who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead;
And when she was good,
She was very, very good
But when she was bad she was horrid."

Unusual Architecture.

"Tarvuism is one of the oldest and largest religions in the world, with over 1 billion followers in over 150 countries - from afar as Iceland to Timonia - speaking as many languages. As Tarvu said 'Every land is nice, and everyone who lives there is nice too'."

Whoa horsie, whoa!

How Long Could You Survive Chained to a Bunk Bed with a Velociraptor? (I could survive for 1 minute and 22 seconds.)