Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Team Mom

There's a little story that goes with the soccer trophy I used in Space Doctor No. 19. It's my son, T's, trophy from 5th grade. (And isn't it kind of scary looking? How would you like to meet that on a dark soccer field? I wouldn't blame Kirk for wanting to shoot it.)

Youth sports teams often have what's sometimes called a "Team Mom." She's the one who takes charge of snack schedules, carpools, team parties, and basically anything that has to do with the team but doesn't actually involve playing the game. She's kind of an administrative assistant for the coach. And she plays an important role in keeping things organized and working smoothly.

So T's 5th-grade soccer team had a Team Mom, and she did fine. I certainly had no complaints. But then we came down towards the end of the season, and she was organizing the team party. And she went around asking the parents if they wanted to get trophies for the kids.

Now, little kids love to get trophies and medals, no matter why. It doesn't have to be for actually accomplishing something; they just love getting them. So at their end-of-season parties, they always would.

But these were 5th graders. They'd kind of outgrown that. So when Team Mom asked me if I thought we should get the kids trophies, I said, "Well, I think they're old enough that getting a trophy just for showing up doesn't mean much to them." I also said, "I don't think there's enough time before the party to get them engraved anyway."

I could tell she didn't like that. She just said, "Hmm. Really?" and moved on to the next parent. She'd obviously already made up her mind to get trophies; polling us was just a pretext. But whatever. No big deal. I thought it was pretty funny, actually. And I'm generally a cooperative person, so I chipped in my ten bucks for the party, trophies, and a present for the coach when she asked me later.

At the party, she unveiled the trophies, and it was those creepy bobble-heads. And they weren't engraved, just like I'd said. So they were just generic creepy bobble-heads. I thought that was pretty funny too.

But the best was yet to come. Because she also got a trophy for the coach. And it wasn't a generic bobble-head. It was this elaborate thing at least two feet tall, with columns and stuff. It looked a lot like this one, but with a dude on top instead of a lady. It wasn't engraved either. Again, pretty funny.

But then she unveiled another trophy. It was identical to the coach's trophy. Two feet tall, with columns. (But not engraved.) Who was it for? Why, the Team Mom, of course. That's right. She'd taken some of the money all the parents chipped in and used it to buy herself a giant trophy.

And that was one of the funniest things I'd ever seen. It was well worth the money I'd contributed.


  1. And it's been transformed into some great bloggage! The gift that keeps on giving!

  2. I've gotten a lot of mileage out of that story over the past four years or so. Well worth the 10 bucks! ;)

  3. I can't think of anything witty or profound to say, but I felt moved upon to comment. I LOVE this story.

  4. Thanks Andrea. Kind of leaves you speechless, doesn't it? ;)


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