Wednesday, April 14, 2010

I'm sorry, but I don't happen to find your grotesquely deformed pet to be very cute

Look, I like dogs, and I don't mind cats. And if I like you, I want to like your dog and/or cat. But here's the problem. Dogs are descended from wolves. Cats are descended from African wildcats.

Wolves look like this:

African wildcats look like this:

Dogs and cats should bear a certain basic resemblance to these animals.

A bit of neoteny is fine. Different colors, sure. Different hair texture, no problem. In the case of dogs, various adaptations for different working tasks are also fine. These dogs, for example, all look quite nice.

So do these cats.

But here's what isn't fine: Dogs that look more like rats than wolves.

Dogs that can't walk or breed or breathe properly, or whose brains don't even fit in their skulls.

Cats that look like somebody dropped them on their faces when they were kittens.

Dropped them hard.

Several times.

Not to put too fine a point on it, those animals are freaks. They're deformed. They're grotesque caricatures of normal dogs and cats. Of course, that's entirely the fault of the people who breed and purchase these monstrosities, not of the animals themselves. The animals can be nice pets, despite the agonies they may suffer because of their bizarre distortions.

They can be nice pets, but they're not "cute" and they're certainly not "beautiful." They're grotesque. They're ugly. Ugly as hell.

If I like you, I'll try to like your dog and/or cat. And I probably will, no matter what it looks like. But if it's a freak, don't expect me to think it's cute. Because it's not.


  1. Ooooh. I agree, totally. BTW, pugs are the ugliest dogs known to man--it's not just cats that look like they've been dropped on their faces!


What do you think?