Friday, July 02, 2010

A picture of Jesus isn't Jesus

A picture of Jesus isn't Jesus; it's just a picture. Making fun of a picture of Jesus isn't the same thing as making fun of Jesus. Saying that an inept painting of Jesus inadvertently makes him look like a horndog isn't the same as saying Jesus is a horndog. Because THAT'S NOT REALLY JESUS! IT'S JUST A PAINTING! IT'S WHAT SOME ARTIST THINKS JESUS LOOKED LIKE! IT'S A FICTIONAL REPRESENTATION! WHEN I SAY THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH A PICTURE OF JESUS, IT DOESN'T MEAN I'M SAYING THE SAME THING IS WRONG WITH JESUS! IT'S NOT REALLY HIM! IT'S JUST A PICTURE!

Ahem. Sorry about the shouting. And you're probably thinking, "Thank you, Captain Obvious." And it should be obvious, but apparently it's a difficult concept for some people. Such as this dim-witted twerp who left a stupid comment on my hilarious post this fine fellow who was kind enough leave a comment on my humble blog. Apparently, he thinks that if I were to say "That picture makes Jesus look like a pedophile" (which I didn't say; he's the one who brought it up), that would be the same as saying "Jesus is a pedophile."

But it's not. Because THAT'S NOT REALLY JESUS! IT'S JUST A PAINTING! IT'S WHAT SOME ARTIST THINKS JESUS LOOKED LIKE! IT'S A FICTIONAL REPRESENTATION! WHEN I SAY THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH A PICTURE OF JESUS, IT DOESN'T MEAN I'M SAYING THE SAME THING IS WRONG WITH JESUS! IT'S NOT REALLY HIM! IT'S JUST A PICTURE!

Hope that's clear now.

Oh, and for the record, I have nothing against Jesus. I rather like his teachings (even if he did crib most of them from Hillel.) I only wish his followers would do a better job of, well, following him. And I know of no reason to believe Jesus actually was a horndog who liked underage girls. (Unlike a certain historical religious figure I could name but I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings so I won't. You probably know who I mean.)

6 comments:

  1. HAHAHAHA. Jesus would tell you to "get a life." I hope he's a bigger man than the man who posted that comment and would just laugh. And be like, yeah. I'm not white.

    Or smarter than the one who was like, um actually, he is God's only son. REALLY? I HAD NO IDEA.

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  2. He doesn't look like a pedophile in that picture.

    He looks like a pedophile in this picture.

    Disclosure: Jesus tried to touch me inappropriately when I was in Primary.

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  3. You missed one thing in your rant about the picture: The blondes aren't real blondes. I'm from Sweden, I know what real blondes look like.

    It's funny how the ubiquity of bad dye-jobs has made people think that blondes apparently always have a bit of dark growth visible in the parting.

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  4. melliferax,
    The picture is telling us that Jesus only likes pretty girls, but he doesn't mind if they aren't natural blonds. Because he's so accepting and all.

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  5. Jesus knows everything, including that the carpet doesn't match the drapes.

    And he's obviously more into Asian chicks anyway.

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What do you think?