Wednesday, October 06, 2010

What it means to "resist being gay"

I came across something while I was working on a longer post, and I think it's important enough to deserve its own post.

John Shore writes about the common conservative religious trope that says:
A homosexual struggling against the temptation to act homosexual is no different from anyone else struggling to resist a sinful temptation. ..."Just like any other sinful temptation. We’re all sinners. Must resist."
Except here's the problem:
No one tells the chronic drinker, or glutton, or adulterer, or any other kind of sinner, to stop experiencing love. Yet that’s exactly what so many Christians are insisting gay people do.

When you tell a gay person to "resist" being gay, what you are really telling them—what you really mean—is for them to be celibate.

What you are truly and actually saying is that you want them to condemn themselves to a life devoid of love.

Be alone, you’re demanding. Live alone. Don’t hold anyone’s hand. Don’t snuggle on your couch with anyone. Don’t cuddle up with anyone at night before you fall asleep. Don’t have anyone to chat with over coffee in the morning.

Do not bind your life to that of another. Live your whole life without knowing that joy, that sharing, that peace.

Just say "no" to love.

Be alone. Live alone. Die alone.

The "sinful temptation" that Christians are forever urging LGBT people to resist is love.

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  1. Perfectly said. Thank you for posting!

  2. All credit to John Shore. I merely quoted him.

  3. That's what it took me 38 years to figure out. That's how stupid some of us can be. Good riddance to reparative therapy.

  4. I like John Shore too... I don't agree with him on a lot of things but he makes me feel like I can accept Christians if there were some more like him.

    Like brmerrick, it took me 38 years to figure it out. Just making that transition to "I'm gay and I'm OK" was enough to give hope for some love in my future although I haven't found it yet.

  5. I was never a raging homophobe, but it took me 40-plus years to be able to unequivocally say, "You're gay, and you're OK." I'm proud to call myself an LGBTQ ally now.

    That's why I think it's so important to pass on things like what Shore wrote. Whether they're gay or straight, people's opinions can change. Mine sure did.

  6. I am gay. I hate it. Because I too, cannot understand how to "resist" my own feelings towards "love" I know it seems wrong to have gay thoughts. God lets me know that, because I always feel so drained after thinking about another boy. So I immedeatly repent. I just graduated from high school, and it is hard for me to imagine life for me will get any easier. Because that's what I have come to realize, is that.. I am supposed to be alone. I often times have considered committing suicide because of it, If I can't live with love then why not just end everything before the pain rips me apart... Thanks for your posts they helped me though.

  7. I don't think that's God letting you know. I think that's just you feeling guilty because you've been taught all your life that there's something wrong with being gay. But there isn't. There's nothing wrong with wanting love just like straight people do. Gay is OK.


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