Friday, May 13, 2011

Ear cancer

Do you ever notice weird things about your body? Lately I've noticed my left ear produces much more earwax than my right ear does. After I take a shower, I get out a q-tip and right ear: dig-dig-dig, perfectly normal. Flip the q-tip around and left ear: dig-dig-dig -- Eww! Where the hell did all that come from?!

Is that a symptom of anything? What about cancer? Does cancer make you produce excessive earwax? Oh God, I have ear cancer!

I should see a doctor. I don't know if they'd take me seriously, though.

Me: Doctor, I think I have cancer!

Doctor: I see. Why do you think that?

Me: My left ear produces more earwax than my right!

Doctor: Uh…

Probably not a good idea. Of course, I don't have health insurance anyway, so I can't afford to see a doctor in the first place. Or actually, I can afford to see a doctor, but I can't afford cancer treatment if that's what I have. I'll just have to add this to my List of Possible Cancers I May Have But Can't Afford to Get Treated If I Do So I'll Just Ignore These Symptoms.

List of Possible Cancers I May Have But Can't Afford to Get Treated If I Do So I'll Just Ignore These Symptoms

1. Skin cancer
2. Colon cancer
3. Prostate cancer
4. Ear cancer

Yeah, my life kind of sucks.

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