Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Happy Halloween!

Here's the scariest music I've ever heard:



Play it when kids come Trick or Treating, and they'll run away in terror and you can keep all the candy for yourself.

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Saturday, October 20, 2012

Who said it: Mitt Romney or Jean Claude Van Damme?


Hard to tell these guys apart. See if you can.
  1. A cookie has no soul, it’s just a cookie. But before it was milk and eggs. And in eggs there’s the potential for life.
  2. When sperm and egg unite, something goes from inanimate to animate. It is life.
  3. I love Big Bird. I actually like you, too.
  4. I love people. I love life. I love animals. I love friendship and it’s good for people to know that.
  5. I am fascinated by air. If you remove the air from the sky, all the birds would fall to the ground. And all the planes, too.
  6. When you have a fire in an aircraft, there's no place to go, exactly, there's no -- and you can't find any oxygen from outside the aircraft to get in the aircraft, because the windows don't open. I don't know why they don't do that. It's a real problem.
  7. In the year 3000, people are going to speak with sound waves. Don’t think I’m crazy, the whales do it. Dolphins too.
  8. Who let the dogs out? Who! Who!
  9. God gave me a great body and it’s my duty to take care of my physical temple.
  10. I believe in an America where millions of Americans believe in an America that’s the America millions of American believe in.
  11. When I walk across my living room from my chimney to my window, it takes me 10 seconds, but for a bird it takes one second, and for oxygen zero seconds!
  12. I'm not familiar precisely with what I said, but I'll stand by what I said, whatever it was.
  13. Everything seems right here. ...the trees are the right height. The grass is the right color for this time of year, kind of a brownish-greenish sort of thing.
  14. Air is beautiful, yet you cannot see it. It’s soft, yet you cannot touch it. Air is a little like my brain.
Answers: 1. JCVD, 2. MR, 3. MR, 4. JCVD, 5. JCVD, 6. MR, 7. JCVD, 8. MR 9. JCVD, 10. M,R 11. JCVD, 12. MR, 13. MR, 14. JCVD
Van Damme quotes from Studious Bison; Romney quotes from all over teh interwebs

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Friday, October 19, 2012

Good Reads/Random Cool Sites (10/19/2012)

Get the details on Romney's tax plan.

How the FBI foils FBI plots.

A linguistic angle on "acts of terror."

Yes, I'm a blasphemer. Get over it.

Another 1-percenter gets his delicate fee-fees hurt.

Thomas Jefferson: not such a fine fellow.

"I encourage cosplaying women everywhere to be blunt and vocal with their rights, their personal boundaries, and their comfort level at conventions. I actually encourage girls to be brashly shameless about these things...."

Unmasking a giant troll.

Customer reviews of binders suitable for filling with women.

Woman dressed as a cat ballet dancing on wine bottles.

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Drink coffee: unworthy to enter a Mormon temple. Torture people: worthy to be a Mormon bishop

Welcome to the Bishop's office
Why, here's some lovely news:
"A Spokane psychologist who helped develop controversial interrogation methods, which some human rights groups say amount to torture, became the new spiritual leader of a Mormon congregation on the South Hill this week.

"Bruce Jessen was proposed by Spokane Stake President James Lee, or 'called' in the terminology of the Mormon faith, to be the bishop of Spokane's 6th Ward, approved by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints hierarchy in Salt Lake City and presented to the congregation on Sunday. He was unanimously accepted by some 200 in attendance, Lee said."
Jessen, you may recall, is someone I've written about before.

Now, it's none of my business anymore who the Mormons call as a bishop. I'm well out of their church. They could call Charles Manson to be a bishop, and it would have no effect on me. Still, I find this to be an instructive moral lesson.

Because think about it: if you drink coffee, you're "unworthy" to enter a Mormon temple. On the other hand if you torture people, you're perfectly "worthy" to be a Mormon bishop, who is actually one of the people who decides how "worthy" other Mormons are. Thank goodness we have churches to teach us about morality like that, because I would never, ever, have figured that one out on my own.

Oh, and just for good measure, here's another quote from the stake president:
"He'll take a beating in the press before he sets the record straight," Lee said. "The whole story has not been told."
"He'll take a beating"? No, actually, it's his victims who took beatings (and worse). Not him. The most that'll happen to him is that some people will tell the truth about him in a little newspaper and maybe an obscure blog or two. If only that was the worst thing that happened to Jessen's victims.

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Friday, October 12, 2012

Good Reads/Random Cool Sites (10/12/2012)

Children and grandchildren do not pay for budget deficits, they get interest on the bonds.

The many gesticulations of Joe Biden.

How plankton win Obama votes in the Deep South.

How can we fix the problem of electric cars that are dangerously quiet?

Shining a laser on an aircraft is a federal felony. Just sayin'.

What happened to Tim Burton's career?

Michael Vick is a dog owner again. (I actually think this is a good thing. I know it's probably un-American to say this, but I believe in redemption after paying one's debts to society, which he has.)

I've never seen anything like this before.

This is actually pretty much everything I know about philosophy.

Joe Biden doesn't think much of this post.

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Monday, October 01, 2012